Boothing

I'm sorry if I've neglected you, blog. It's just that having many accounts is hard to handle. Boothing made me busy. LOL! Anyway, I've been depressed lately. I just can't seem to find happiness. Life is tough. Life is unfair. But still... life is beautiful if only you could see and appreciate the good things of it. Right now, all I'm seeing are the bad things. Nevertheless, I hope he's happy now.

Can I be mad? Can I curse? Hoho!

SOS

Why is it hard to pretend? You think you're happy but you're not. You say that you're fine but you're not. Jeez. I'm trying to be strong but that's it. I can't move forward to strong. I'm stuck to trying. Even if I look strong, I'm still weak inside. I need to learn. I have to learn. Teach me how to be strong. Teach me how to survive. I know that there's still hope for everything. Just believe! I don't want to give up. Not now.

P.S.
Listening to my little cousin's stories give me hope. He's too young but he has a mind of an adult which is cool.

WTH!

This is not happening. Jeez! No! There was presence of blood in my poop earlier and I sometimes experience abdominal pain. And guess what! My grandfather (father side) died of colon cancer. Am I just paranoid? Or am I really sick? *sighs*

P.S.
I'm not really busy. I'm just busy with my private stuff. LOL!

Maybe

"Maybe if you were in my shoes, you would definitely understand me. Maybe, just maybe."

My shoes are soaked in wet. Effing rain! But it's all good. Community Health Nursing was cut short. Haha! Thank you, rain! Come back tomorrow. LOL! I'm seeing the sun now. NOOO! This can't be happening. Obviously, I'm getting lazy again. I need to have my energy back. That old hyper me. Jeez. I don't want to be this down again. I'm really losing it!

Passed or Failed

I have news! Finally! I got my grades in Neurology and Oncology. Whew! I thought I failed but I didn't. Jeez. I don't know. I still wonder why I don't feel relieved. The battle is still not over. I'm still trying to hang on. Tomorrow is the start of CHN (Community Health Nursing) and I was assigned to be the leader. Oh, c'mon! The stress! The pressure! Gah!

P.S.
I'm wearing a jacket and a pair of jogging pants. Damn! I feel cold. Is it just me or is it really cold? I had a fever last night and was shivering like crazy. Oh noes!

Oh, Mother

I love you but sometimes I wish you could have just aborted me since you told me that you wanted to. Jeez! Then I would have not been stressing out so much with school, family or any of my problems right now. Agree? You won't have any daughter to worry about. No mouth to feed. Only yourself. I just couldn't open this up to you. Why? I'm afraid that you wouldn't care. You don't even know how stress is affecting my daily functioning. Remember when I used to cry every time you leave for duty when I was a kid? You didn't even hold me. You just ran off. What about the part when you said it's okay with you when Lola Auntie asked you if she can adopt me? You're like giving me away.

I wish talking to someone would be this easy. Just like typing the words that you will say because you know that someone won't be able to read it. Haha! But it's hard. Not just hard, it's difficult. You know what I need? A hug. All I need is a hug. What else? To know people are here for me. I'm not asking for all the people. Few is enough. And, I'm wishing one of them would be you. Who am I talking about? Well you just have to find out. You're reading this, aren't you? Haha!

Looking for a happy post? I will. Later. Toodles!

Call 911

Sometimes, I just feel like I'm not good enough. That's all.